Morning. Fighting neighbors. Day.

5:32am. Los Angeles. Hopefully I'll catch a picture of the sky as it changes. I'm up. My feelings range from hopeful to happy and then worry and back around to hopeful again. I have money on my mind and my mind on some money. And God is still faithful. I get paid Saturday from a client but I'm not going to be able to use that money for housing because I need it for gas and food and other things I need to get. I get paid from another job on Monday night and I'll be able to use that for housing though. We are scheduled now to check out of here tomorrow at 11am so there's figuring out where we will be Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Unless I can get my money Monday morning instead of Monday night. Then there's just figuring out where we are going to be Saturday and Sunday. I'm releasing the worry. Something will show up.

In other news, I'm really proud of myself for eating so well the past few days. Been eating a lot of fruit and drinking vegetable smoothies. Also had some California and spicy tuna rolls. No fast food though. No sodas either. Also been ok with water. I could do better there though. I do have enough water so that's good.

Uraeus and I are doing ok. Our spirits are good and that's important. Last night I was in the bathroom and I felt the wall shake. Then heard rumbling from the floor. The people next door were fighting. There was a man and a woman. When I came out of the bathroom we heard the woman shouting for help and screaming for someone for call 911. Uraeus called and Public Enemy was right. 911 is a joke. He gave them the name of the hotel where we are and also the street. They were still on some, "But what is the address?" Like, dude, figure that shit out and get the fuck here! Well, they did figure it out. I didn't see the police. Maybe they came. Maybe they didn't. But the fire truck and ambulance came quickly. I don't know what happened. The rumbling ended quickly and we didn't hear noise in the hallway. I hope she is all right.

I don't remember what year it was but Uraeus was in kindergarten and we were living in the jungle. The jungle is an area in Los Angeles. I was in my apartment and I could hear a woman being beaten. I could hear the man cussing her out. Hitting her. I heard her fall. All of it. There were two young men outside my window laughing as they passed by. I was horrified at what was happening. I was also afraid of doing anything. I sat curled up in a corner of my living room. Eventually the fighting stopped but I promised myself then that that would never be my response again. I wouldn't be the woman curled up in a corner silent while a woman was being beaten. Thankfully I haven't been in a situation to witness that too many times but also thankfully I have stepped up to help when I could. Mostly I think that day in the jungle I was afraid of whoever the abuser was knowing that I was the one who called and him retaliating against me. That time taught me a valuable lesson in being bigger than my fear and helping someone else. I wish I could have helped her. To me, my thoughts and prayers and tears and fear were not enough. Growth though.

Many years later, I was having lunch with an ex lover. We had recently broken up and I don't know if we were connecting again on some seeing if we should try it again or what. I don't know. But we were out having lunch together. My question as to whether or not we should give it another go was answered quickly. I don't remember how it came up but he brought up his downstairs neighbors. A man and a woman. I guess they had been fighting or something. But he said "And every time he barely touches her she calls the police." Then chuckled a little. Like, motherfucker, how the fuck do you know how he is touching her? And how is that at all funny? Not only did I not want to be with him again, I couldn't even see myself friends with him. I was so turned off I could barely finish lunch. Check please!

How did this post turn into this? Oh, next door. Last night. Well, thankfully things are quiet now and dark is turning into light outside. I intend to have a good day. I hope you do too.

Love yourselves.