Step by step

It's been one of those days / and I look and feel like shit / and the thing didn't kill me / again / and I am thankful for moments that come / that remind me that I just might make it / and maybe that's enough / maybe one foot in front of the other is best I can do / and I get scared sometimes / I'm afraid now / sitting in my car / scared to fucking death of going into this classroom to teach poetry / because maybe they will know / maybe they will see the shit that has tried to kill me / maybe they will know how fucking useless I feel on too many days / on today / the thoughts are back / they are wicked and convincing / the tears and clouds are back / people say that you should reach out when you feel down / but really / people don't fucking want to hear it / because they can't fix it / because the clouds will return / because they don't know what to say / because what do you say / what words do you have to convince me to stay / because they don't understand I don't want to die / but I can't live like this either / so here's looking for another way to live / here's wiping my tears and getting out of the car to teach this class / and who better / really / you want to write a poem / you want to release demons / want to tell the truth in your art / I'm your girl / woman really / breathe Jaha / breathe / so here's to me not answering my phone / so don't call because I don't have words beyond these / because I been trying to tell you / because you think hearing about this shit is hard / live it / wake up not able to do one damn thing right / but your life depends on you doing all the shit right / because ain't nobody got time for a sad you can't explain / for a heavy that even if you could lift is coming back anyway / fuck your long ass posts / because ain't nobody reading past the first two sentences / out here wasting everybody's time with this bullshit / bitch you betta teach that class / bitch you betta go to work / bitch don't cause an alarm / bitch you betta rest when you dead / so here's getting out of the car / here's knowing it didn't kill me