Sunday, April 26, 2020

Sunday Stories (17)

In December of last year I moved into a new place. This landing was going to be a beginning to a new path. I had time. Time and space to breathe and exhale from the 2019 I had. I was on a mission. My first and main step was getting my credit together. I didn't have the money to pay a company to do that for me. The way I figured, the money going to them could go to my creditors.
The first step I took was to see where my extra money was going. I wasn't much of a shopper. It wasn't clothes. My idea of entertainment is going to poetry readings and an occasional movie. So it wasn't that. Where was it going? I was earning X each month. My bills were Y and at the end of each month I had Z and while XYZ makes sense alphabetically, my finances didn't make sense. It was food and alcohol. Wine was pretty much a staple in my home and I ate out a lot. A restaurant here, a drive-thru there, Starbucks, pizza, Chinese food, Thai. So I cut it out. All of it. That money could go to the creditors who were calling.
I have never been much of a cook. It was never exciting or therapeutic for me. I had friends who loved to cook. They thought about it all day. In the morning they knew what they were going to cook for dinner. Shopped for sides. Took pictures of their creations. Exchanged recipes with their other friends. The whole nine. That wasn't me. But I had to do something. I told my sister that I had been thinking about using a crockpot. She had an extra one and gifted me my first one.
That thing sat on my counter for about a week and then finally I was like, hey, let's do this. So I bought a bunch of vegetables and seasonings, came home and turned on some Gregory Porter and started cutting. And more cutting. And cayenne pepper here, basil there, and everything else in my bag too. And it was fun for me. The next morning my apartment smelled like a cook who knew what they were doing lived there. That was the first thing my son said when he woke up. How good it smelled. And it didn't just smell good. It was good. It was really, really good. I thought about all those mornings I used to stop at Sprouts and Whole Foods and spend $6 and $10 on soup. I love soup. No more. I had a pot of soup at home. But I had so much fun making it I put the soup I had in containers and put them in the freezer so I could make more. More Gregory Porter, some Anita Baker, Sade, some Law & Order episodes and I was in a good grove. Cutting and chopping and sprinkling and tasting. I had found a new thing.
My days of eating out were over. I had pulled my credit report and went down the list. I still didn't have a lot of money but I figured if I could spend $20 on a pizza I could send that to Company A. Before I knew it I had paid them off. Alcohol was the next thing to go. If you know me you know I love merlot. I had to say goodbye. I had stopped taking my meds back in June and needed something for my nerves. Before I would have a glass of wine at night (ok, more than one glass) but I wasn't spending money on bottles anymore. I started researching what kinds of herbal teas I could use that would be good for me. And they were. I was sleeping better. I was eating soup. My wine money went to Company B. Then I cut out all snacks and put that money toward repairing my credit. I was dog on a bone about looking for places I was spending money that could go to some old bill. I stopped driving all the way to Sprouts when there was a neighborhood store I could walk to. So I did that, I walked to the store everyday. And it was peaceful. And I looked forward to it. I started thinking about what spices I was going to buy. Maybe I would add smoked turkey. Maybe chicken. Whatever. I was having fun.
In January I got a notice from Experian that my score had gone up. I was excited. The end of February I got another notice. And I got another. So far my score has gone up thirty-three points. Heeey! I was very happy. But something else was going on. I felt different. My body was changing. I posted that I was willing to trade a painting for a scale. Because well, I had more art than money. I was gifted a scale and I couldn't get on it quick enough. I lost fourteen pounds! Then I lost a few more pounds. Then more. So far I have lost twenty-two pounds! But I wasn't on a weight loss mission. I was on a repair credit mission. I won twice.
I'm still taking baby steps. My credit isn't where I want it to be and neither is my weight. But I feel good. Feel like I can run on. Feel like these baby steps are gonna get me somewhere after all. My mental health is better without the sugar and alcohol and other snacks. My body is better. My credit is better. I love my new soup making normal. I love walking to the store. I don't go everyday anymore but I go often and I still walk there and I love that I have gotten to know some workers at the store. I'm gonna keep steppin'. I hope you're moving too.

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