Huntington Botanical Gardens. Loving me. Trigger voice.

I had an incredible day today. I went to the Huntington Botanical Gardens and walked around the grounds. I haven't been there in years and it was just as beautiful as I remember it. I posted photos on Facebook and Instagram so check me out there. I don't have a computer so I can't load them here. I was trying to go the day without spending any money but I had to pay to get in to see the gardens and then just now I grabbed a bite to eat. It was such a perfect mental health day and I'm having a lovely meal right now. I'm not going to get mad at myself for treating me to a good day.

I'm loving on myself while I have the energy to do it. I've tried going off my meds a few times in the past and I failed hard each time. I'm off again and I want to be able to be off for a long time if not for good. The clouds may come again but when they do I want to have some really good days stored to look back on to help pull me through. To remind me that the bad days are temporary.

It's 6:57pm and I go back to work with my client at 9. I feel emotionally ready for work. I'm in a shopping center lot right now eating and enjoying the peace I feel.

I'm so glad I've had these days out with myself. I don't know if I would have enjoyed myself as much had I been with someone. I took the trails I wanted to take. I rested when I wanted to rest. I left when I was ready to go. I ate where I wanted to. It was a for real me day. I don't take them often enough.

I did notice today that I often heard from inside of me, the voice of a person, an ex, who still triggers me. As I walked I could hear him saying do this or no, let's go this way or something else that would get on my nerves. Instead of letting the thought of him bother me, I gave thanks for the past being in the past. For people of my past being people of my past. With everything going on I still say I have a beautiful present. I love and honor myself more. I treat myself better and so there is better energy around me. God is good.

I hope to have a good shift tonight and I hope you enjoy yourselves too.

Be great.