Happy. Off meds. Sleeping room.

The spa in L.A. is my happy place. The price is right and I can stay all night. I don't come as often as I would like to because time, because money, because because. A day like this though, I needed it. I'm in my sleeping spot now and will probably get up in an hour and get back in the hot tub.

Going off my meds is a bitch. But I really need a break. A break from feeling numb and dead. A break from what the meds do to my body and mind. When I go off them though I am also a mess. I'm afraid...of everything. Afraid of the night afraid of alone afraid of the tears that come at awful times. That's what I'm going through now, not being able to sleep and crying all the time. But the spa magic.

Uraeus has the place to himself tonight. He said he likes it. I imagine he needs his space from time to time.

I don't remember the last good rest I got. I plan to get it tonight though. I have been coming to this spa for many years. It has two sleeping rooms, and Korean tv, steam room and other stuff that make me feel comfortable.  I'm alone in the sleeping room right now. All good. I'm hoping a poem will come to me. We will see.

Love yourselves.