Losing place. Red Stories. Kanye.

Sunday, October 14, 2018 8:45pm Los Angeles. Home.

I might lose this apartment. I might. Uraeus and I might have to move. I don't want that but I did pray for change and this is what happens sometimes when you pray for change. Change happens and you don't know what it will look like. There is change all over my life. I'm down to just a few clients and that's not enough to keep this place. Poetry is paying but not enough. So, I have to make some changes. I might rent a room somewhere until I can get another apartment. I want to get somewhere where Uraeus can be or wants to be on his own because I will be moving into the house with my mother when she gets it and he doesn't want to go. I get it. It's time for him to be on his own but I will help for as long as I can, as long as he needs me to. It's all in the air now. More on that later.

Some good news is that Red Stories is back! Did I tell you that already? Well it is and I am excited about it. This time around the show will travel to different cities. We are going to start off in Glendale, CA on November 11 so less than a month away. Food 4 Thot and Socks are helping me produce it. Big Arch is the feature next month. He is an incredible storyteller. I think for this first show back I might be the opener. I don't usually perform at Red Stories but I want to introduce it and set it off a certain way. I was thinking of asking Bridgette B to open the show but I want to feature her probably in January. I don't usually have Red Stories in December. I don't know why. I guess because people are getting ready for the holidays and new year and whatever. I don't know. Maybe this run will be different and we will do something for December. We'll see.

What's on my mind...Well this is totally off topic but isn't that the way I run this blog?! Yep. So the other day when Kanye went all MAGA in the white house talking about how he loved the president and all and talking all nonsensical I asked the question on Facebook if he was mentally ill or not. The reason I asked was because he looked like me when I am in a manic state. Talking all loud and fast and not being clear. I know that look. Someone I know responded that it didn't matter if he is mentally ill or that it wasn't a big deal or something like that because "we all are." I didn't respond to it but it bothered me because we all aren't. And the comment felt dismissive to those who are. Our brains don't all function alike. We don't all have suicidal ideation. We don't all have manic states where we go off uncontrollable. We don't. And for those of us who do I felt like her statement said get over it. Be like the rest of us. Stop acting. She didn't say that but that's how it felt. I didn't respond because I didn't want a debate about this or be triggered any more that the statement already did. Saying it here helped me a little. Helped me get it out of my head. That's what this blog is for anyway. Getting stuff out of my head and telling my story.

Back to today...I did very little. I went to visit a client of mine who had been in the hospital. She is still not herself. She wasn't very talkative and wanted to sleep mostly. She got up for her meal and then went back to bed. I will be praying for her and her family.

I'm off again tomorrow although I wish I was working. I need to be making money every day. That's ok though because it gives me time to get some administrative stuff for Red Stories together and other work I have to do from home. And it gives me time to figure out this home situation too. I'm going to do some work and then head off to bed. It's early but I'm tired. Oh, I went to George's birthday party last night and it was really good. I had such a great time. I wish you rest tonight.

Love yourselves.