Client dying. No worry, no cry. After midnight.

Thursday, October 18, 2018 11:55pm Los Angeles. Home.

Just got in from work. My client is dying. This is the hard part. The waiting. She sleeps mostly. I have to try to make her comfortable. Perhaps this is how she will leave us. A long sleep until the last breath and then she will be gone. Not gone. Just...not here. With her Lord. Her Jesus. Her Savior. Her Christ. There is a  part of me that doesn't want it to happen on my watch. But if it does I am prepared for that too. I am ok. God's will be done.

This will be another client I am losing. More money I am losing. But I promised myself I wouldn't worry about that today. I am worried though, a little. Inside of me though, there is this knowing though, that everything is going to work out. I have to trust it. Especially now. I talked to my landlord today and gave him a verbal notice that we are moving. I have to give him a letter also, soon. I'm going to need some time though to get my stuff out of here and lock down a place. For now, we are going to be in a hotel I pay by the week. That's not my favorite plan but it's the one I have and it beats being outside. We're not going to end up outside anyway. I do have faith in that.

So I didn't end up going to get my labs today. I don't know why. I just didn't feel like getting up and I know I can do it on Tuesday. I'm pushing it though because they have to be done before I see my doctor. I think there is something I am afraid the tests will show. I pray there is nothing wrong with my kidneys. I also pray I am not diabetic. Pray for me too, ok?

I have an early meeting in the morning plus tons of stuff to work out and it's already after midnight. I'm going to turn in. I hope you all get some good good rest.

Love yourselves.