Thoughts. Run on. Stream.

2:30am

the thoughts are coming back / the thoughts are back / the scary thoughts / it feels like the beginning of my period except I don't get a period anymore / but I still remember those warning cramps before the blood comes / before the real pain / that's where I am / the depression is coming and it wants me to know / it does not want me comfortable in comfortable / comfortable in ease / this is the space that is scary / not the depression / the space like now / when I know it's coming / and I can't do anything about it / not anything new / I know the prayers to pray and I have prayed them / I hate this cycle / I hate this circle of high / then even / then the low warning / then the low / it is hard to work / shower / sleep / think / eat right / drink water / the scary thoughts that make me disappear in my dreams / I don't want to disappear / I just don't want this cycle / it's coming and there is nothing for me to do but brace myself