Good shift. Mother's prayer. Suicide prevention week.

Tuesday, September 11, 2018 11:59pm Los Angeles. Home.

Just getting in about fifteen minutes ago. I had a pretty good shift with my client. I saw my mother before went to my client's house. I told her I really needed a good shift and she said a prayer for me. It worked. Thankfully tomorrow I only have one client and hopefully it goes well again. I need a couple of days off because I'm so tired every day. I'll get it together.

I already took my meds for tonight so I should be sleep soon and hopefully throughout the night.

Oh, this is national suicide prevention week and I posted on Facebook and so I'll post a few thoughts here too. I get it. the thoughts the self conversations and goodbyes you mean to be forever but hope they won't be. For me it's not that I wanna die it's that I want the living to be easier. I want the drama in my head to not hurt so much. I want the hallucinations to go away. I want the depression to lift. I want to come down from the mania. I want the anxiety to ease. But I wake up and tell myself that I'm here. I'm here again. And I keep telling myself that. I don't promise myself a good day I just pray I get through what the day brings. And while some days are better than others, I'm here.

You're here too.

Love yourselves